Major Pettigrew's Last Stand

"It surprised him that his grief was sharper than in the past few days. He had forgotten that grief does not decline in a straight line or along a slow curve like a graph in a child's math book. Instead, it was almost as if his body contained a big pile of garden rubbish full both of heavy lumps of dirt and of sharp thorny brush that would stab him when he least expected it."

Shared by a California coworker and friend, from "Major Pettigrew's Last Stand" by Helen Simonson.

More on Death and Dying

Last weekend I went to visit old friends in the Orlando area.  I came away with several gems:

The Death of a close family member causes us to face our own mortality.

Not only did I lose a loved one, I ended my role as care-giver, and with that the constant worry and concern.   I will need to fill my days with other activities.

Using antidepressants at a time like this can numb the pain and prevent me from dealing with the sorrow and grief.  It could return years later if I don't work through it now.   If I am debilitated with long-lasting sorrow, I should consider medication.

This home has always been my mother's, and it is understandable that her presence is missing.

When my memories of my mother change from making me sad to making me happy to remember, I will have crossed a threshold.

No one really understands what I am going through.   Everyone's experience of grief and sorrow is unique.  Very few people are willing to share in that experience.

Being an only child does have the advantage that I was able to fulfill my mother's wishes without having to consult siblings, et al.

A grief group and/or therapy can be helpful.   Hospice provides grief groups, even if your loved one didn't die under their care.

"Firsts" will be difficult:  first holidays without my Mom, etc.